Epstein Files „Accidentally” Sent to Moon on Board Artemis II

A fresh blunder by the clumsy President Donald Trump is dividing American society! Sources close to the White House have reported that, in a „regrettable mistake”, the Epstein files were loaded onto the Artemis II rocket and are currently on their way to the Moon.

Moreover, according to the calculations of White House astrophysicists, the Artemis II mission will have to abandon the Epstein files on the far side of the Moon in order to return safely to Earth.

„We advise the four astronauts aboard the Artemis spacecraft not to open the shoe boxes or read the files, because it would negatively impact their attention, endangering the entire mission. The protocol is simple: get behind the Moon, open the hatch, evacuate the files, return home”, stated Benito Trump Jr., the new NASA director.

„You know what? After we win big at this fantastic Moon mission, I say let’s never go back there again. The Moon is ugly and boring and there’s only dust there anyway and it doesn’t help anyone to go rummaging through those stupid old files when we could be conquering Greenland from the Iranians and finally ending the war between Armenia and Albania. The hugest, biggest war. I ended it,” Donald Trump tweeted.